confession time: i am a dyed-in-the-wool, die-hard green bay packers fan.
you may surmise, correctly, from this fact that last night was a very good night for me. but as awesome as it feels to have your boys walk away from the biggest game of the year jubilant that they're bringing lombardi's trophy home, i likewise confess that as much as i wanted my team to win, i think i wanted the steelers to lose even more.
schadenfreude: i has it
there was a whole lot of talk yesterday during pregame (all eight hours of it) about all of the "obstacles" that ben roethlisberger has had to overcome this season, about what a hard road it's been, about how he's had to rise above "problems" in his personal life in order to lead pittsburgh to their third super bowl in six years. sub the word "injury" in for "suspension" and it would have been extremely difficult to tell whether they were referring to the two women who were brave enough to come forward with rape allegations against him, or a repeat of his 2006 motorcycle crash. i guess if he'd been injured, they wouldn't have suspended him without pay, so that's something. the problem, of course, is that "something" isn't enough.
it horrifies me that michael vick was crucified in the press and sent to prison for mistreating dogs, but ben roethlisberger got off with a six-game suspension that was reduced to four after he raped a human woman in a bar bathroom while his bodyguards stood outside the door. regardless of whether one thinks that vick got what he deserved, how in the sainted fuck is that in any way defensible?
oh, right, rape culture.
so to say that last night's game mattered to me is a huge understatement. at championship time, even the most rational of fans tends to take things a little too seriously, a little too personally -- and i've never claimed to be the most rational of anything. if a career-ending injury for #7 accompanied the humiliation i so dearly hoped that the pack could dish out to pittsburgh on my behalf, so much the better.
that i had that absolutely earnest thought process is appalling, but i did and do believe that on the field was the only way roethlisberger (and the steelers organization which continues to play him, even though there's plenty of smoke coming from that fire) was going to get any sort of comeuppance.
so. ask me if i'm happy the pack won. the answer: yes, absolutely. i may or may not have cried when they showed woodson after the game ended, i was that happy for him, for my team, and for the city of green bay.
now ask me if i'm happy the steelers lost.
the answer: couldn't have happened to a nicer guy.